Who I Want To See
by TheEscapeFromReality
Summary: Severus Snape was never one to get confused. But that is exactly what he is when he runs across his most hated student in a corridor past curfew. The song he sung seemed to show just how much Snape was wrong about this child. Song-fic. Five-shot. R/R!
1. Who I Want To See

Hey people! This is another fanfiction by me!

Disclamer: I do not own Harry Potter. I only own song.

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Severus Snape wasn't happy. To be honest Severus Snape was never exactly happy. Today, though, he was furious. Why was he furious?

It was all because of a certain messy, black-haired boy with emerald green eyes and a lightning-bolt shaped scar.

Harry Potter, the arrogant Boy-Who-Lived, who, in Snape's opinion, was horrible in potions.

Harry Potter had been in his class today. Not like he had done anything bad, but he still drove Snape insane.

He reminded Snape of the fact that Lily Evans wasn't, ever will, or never can be his.

Severus Snape sighed and turned down the dark and dreary hallway in Hogwarts. The corridor was lit by flickering candles, and there was a kind of eerie silence. Until, Snape heard the noise of a soft guitar. He peered around the corner and instantly recognized Harry Potter. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

He wasn't. Here the fifteen-year-old Boy-Who-Lived was, past curfew, in a dark hallway.

Snape looked more closely and was surprised to see tears running down his cheeks.

_Probably wasn't in the newspapers today and was feeling neglected, _Snape thought unsympathetically.

He was going to step forward and punish Potter, but stopped when the boy began singing softly in a medium-voice.

_You ask me what I fear. _

_I hate shedding all these tears._

_You ask me why I scream at night._

_I protest against it with all my might._

_You don't believe me when I smile._

_All you do is look at me for a while._

_I hate how you know I'm hiding who I am._

_I hate how you can reach the real me._

_I'm not who I want to be._

_I'm who I want to see._

_Everyone expects me to be strong._

_They think I am some hero._

_Oh, they are so wrong._

_I try to act as if I don't care._

_I always pretend I enjoy life._

_I try to act natural when you stare._

_I hate everything about the real me._

_It's a secret I'll never share._

_I imitate a person I know I could never be._

_I will never show it to anyone, _

_My life isn't something to boast about. _

_I'm tired with it and wish it was done._

_I hate how you know I'm hiding who I am._

_I hate how you can reach the real me._

_I'm not who I want to be._

_I'm who I want to see._

_Everyone expects me to be strong._

_They think I am some hero._

_Oh, they are so wrong._

_I fear everything about my life, like if you really like me or not._

_I scream at night, because my nightmares can't be fought._

_I smile, only because I want you to be as happy as you can be, even if it's hard for me._

_I always seem so cocky._

_I always act so bold._

_I always try to hide,_

_What you've never been told._

_I always say I couldn't care more, _

_But all this tears me to the core._

_I always pretend to hate you, _

_Because that's what you expect me to do._

_I hate how you know I'm hiding who I am._

_I hate how you can reach the real me._

_I'm not who I want to be._

_I'm who I want to see._

_Everyone expects me to be strong._

_They think I am some hero._

_Oh, they are so wrong._

_I am who you want me to be. _

_You will never see the real me._

_I will act as I am supposed to. _

_I will never really be true._

_I can't ever detain what's on the inside,_

_Cause the actual me is something I can't hide. _

_I wish I was who you want me to be,_

_But that isn't who you see._

_I will always keep my secrets as my own,_

_The real me will never be known._

_I promise you that you will never have to be,_

_Here with the real me..._

_Ohhh... Ohh..._

_I will never be me, but I will still be who I want to see..._

Snape watched the boy pluck the last few notes in shock. He never knew that Harry Potter hated his life and wasn't really who he made them believe. Snape slowly stepped away from the distressed boy and wondered if he looked hard enough; the real Harry Potter would be there.

Snape replayed the last line 'I will never be me, but I will still be who I want to see'.

Snape never imagined that this boy, the confident Boy-Who-Lived, was acting and hated who he was hiding. If someone had relayed this story to him this morning, he would have thought they were insane.

_He is very good at hiding it,_ Snape mused in his head.

Quietly, Snape walked away from Harry Potter and promised himself he would watch the boy more carefully.

Harry Potter was some puzzle, indeed. A puzzle that Snape knew he must figure out.

The last lines of the song still recurring in his head, he pictured a certain Lily Evans and vowed he would do everything in his power to save her child.

Not James Potter's son.

Lily Evan's son.

Harry.

A boy who needs his help.

A boy who needs to realize who he wants to see should be the real him.

_Who _I _want to see, _Snape thought. _The real Harry Potter._

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	2. Shattering

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I only own song.**

**Okay, this was going to only be a one-shot, but a certain person changed my mind. Thank you Severus Addicted! I hope you like it!**

**Please review everyone!**

Everything Harry knew was a lie. Of course everyone but him was ignorant to that. He never really though that anyone would notice. Like anyone would really tell how shattered Harry was on the inside. No one knew.

Shattered just seemed appropriate. As he sat in this dark, dreary hallway again, for the seventh day this week, he realized just how broken he was. As he cried all the tears he needed. All the tears that developed in his eyes through the day, but he managed to prevent them from falling. All the tears that he would never let anyone know about, because he knew no one would ever understand.

Harry sighed, turning to look at his guitar placed next to him. It was silver, green, and black. Slytherin colors.

Harry always wondered if he truly picked the right house. But every time he sees Snape, the man who loathed him more then description, the head of Slytherin house, he realizes how unwanted he would be there. He was the Golden Boy, the Boy-Who-Lived, or as he called himself, the Boy-Who-Won't-Die.

Yet, Gryffindor was shattering him to pieces and nobody realized. Everyone was just so oblivious to what he_ truly_ needed.

No one understands him.

He grabbed his guitar swiftly, not noticing the figure watching him behind the wall, and started playing a faster, harsher tune. Opening his mouth, he began to sing-

_Shattering, these pieces are what left of you._

_This mirror broke in two, and I feel nothing for you._

_If you don't ask why, I won't give you any lies._

_Cause when I look at my reflection, I wonder who is me. _

_I know you'll never understand, and I'm not sure who to be._

_You're the reason I'm so lost. You ruined my life. _

_It didn't come without a cost. _

_Your ignorance cuts into me like the sharpest knife!_

_Cause when I look at my reflection, I wonder who is me. _

_I know you'll never understand, and I'm not sure who to be._

Harry broke off into a guitar solo, becoming faster and sadder by the seconds, and Harry could almost feel his own agony burn from the music. After a few more intense notes, he went back to the normal tune, strumming carelessly.

_Just get out of my life, just turn away, _

_I don't care for you, and someday you'll pay!_

_Cause I'm breaking down, my heart in numb. _

_You are trying to make me be who you want,_

_which is so very dumb._

_I will never be able to trust in you,_

_cause you never say anything true._

_You and your lies,_

_are responsible for my hard past._

_You are responsible for my cold, dark, eyes._

_Cause when I look at my reflection, I wonder who is me. _

_I know you'll never understand, and I'm not sure who to be._

_You made me hide who I am. _

_What's on the inside I will never disguise again._

_Cause when I look at my reflection, I wonder who is me. _

_I know you'll never understand, and I'm not sure who to be._

_Just get out of my life, just turn away, _

_I don't care for you, and someday you'll pay!_

_Ohh…_

_Shattering…_

_There goes my past…_

_Shattering…_

_On these pieces of glass…_

_Shattering…_

_I hope this pain doesn't last…_

_Shattering…_

Harry sighed as he plucked his last note. With an eye roll he realized how ironic it would be if Snape could see how the so-called spoiled Boy-Who-Lived was falling deeper into depression and fear.

"No one will ever understand," Harry whispered into the dark, still night, his head bowed. "I can't be who they want and need. I can't!" Angry tears fell onto his lap. "I am more broken then I realized, I guess." Harry gave a cold, unemotional laugh. "And to think they say they know me like the back of their hand." Harry's head shot up. "But they don't! I'm not who they think, but they don't need to know that. I vow to never show them how much it pains me to live through the day!"

Harry's eyes shined with new determination, and the man hidden in the shadows, hanging onto his every word, almost believed he wasn't shattered. _Almost_. But he wasn't fooled by the sad tears that lied hidden behind Harry Potter's emerald gaze. He knew that if you looked hard enough, you would never get past the defeated, shattered image. You would never be fooled into thinking he was someone else again. He was Harry. Just Harry. And Severus Snape was more determined on helping Harry Potter realize that then last night. He wouldn't let this fragile boy shatter more then he already had. That was a promise.

**Did you like it? I hope so! I may add another chapter if you tell me too! **

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	3. You Don't Know Anything

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I own song only. All rights reserved for song.**

**This is for those of you have requested another chapter! Thanks!**

Harry grabbed his guitar and stared out through the dreary window into the starless night.

_It's like my life,_ he thought. _Black, cold, and without hope._

He sighed. It's like his life. His tiring, lie of a life. If you even called it a life. Hiding who you are.

He had never considered suicide or anything like that because the world needed him.

Well, not him, but the _Boy-Who-Lived_. They wanted the arrogant, confident, hot-headed, ignorant boy. Never the real Harry Potter. No one knew the real him.

He glared at his reflection in his mirror, feeling his lightning-bolt scar scream in agony, and flinched.

Tears suddenly stormed down his face, thinking about hiding who he was, but he made sure they stopped. He had no right to show weakness.

He opened his mouth, playing his guitar softly, and began to sing in his tenor voice:

**Sometimes I wonder, if life would be better, without me here. Deep inside, I know the answer has been my greatest fear. Cause every time I keep on shedding these tears, knowing that no one knows I'm not who I appear!**

**Sometimes I wonder if someone was watching me, knowing I'm hiding inside. Sometime I wish that someone were here to be my guide. Sometimes I fear that no one cares for me. Yes I know how it is. I make it so you can never see.**

**Sometimes will never come! We all know that, but my heart is numb. You all pretend to watch me with trustful eyes, but I think I have had enough of all your lies. Cause sometimes is just not enough, and I'm wishing you knew. But of course you never do.**

**But of course you never do……….**

**As the days go by, I look out the window. There's not a day that I don't want to fly, to be free of everyone. I wish I never cry, but I can't hold them back. Cause as the days go by, I just don't know what to do. Because I know I'll never fly, that I can't believe in you. And I guess I'll cry, for me and you. You just don't know anything, do you?**

**You don't know anything…… but of course you never do…….**

**Sometimes will never come! We all know that, but my heart is numb. You all pretend to watch me with trustful eyes, but I think I have had enough of all your lies. Cause sometimes is just not enough, and I'm wishing you knew. But of course you never do.**

**Why can't you just open your eyes, and see the truth right in front of you? Why do you have to lie, and keep away what's true? Why do you have to ignore my pain? I mean what do you really gain?**

**You don't know anything……. just open up your eyes from the lies……**

**Sometimes will never come! We all know that, but my heart is numb. You all pretend to watch me with trustful eyes, but I think I have had enough of all your lies. Cause sometimes is just not enough, and I'm wishing you knew. But of course you never do.**

**Cause I am tired of this. I've had enough! I'd rather face a Dementor's kiss. You don't know anything! Cause I hate you for all you are. I've had enough! I never knew the truth was so far. You don't know anything! I now can see what you see in me. I've had enough! I won't ever be who you want me to be……. and you still don't know anything. Especially when it's about me…..**

**You don't know anything……… **

Harry smirked and laughed an emotionless laugh. They didn't know anything.

"I know more then you know," a voice whispered silkily, and Harry spun around.

Was that…._ Snape's_ voice?

"Who's there?" Harry asked into the silence of the night.

But he never got an answer. He never gets an answer.

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**Did you love it? :****D Hey I'll add a confrontion with Snape and another song if you review... ( hint. hint. ; )**

**Well review already!**

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	4. Author Note

**Hey everyone! Thanks to those who reviewed so far! I apologize to Lady Black-Metal Rose! I didn't mean I wouldn't update if you didn't review, I just was saying it would help! Oh, and I hate reviewing if everyone thinks it is crap is another reason! I will write another chapter soon, I promise! (Thinking of you Sakure evil twin of Sango) LOL ;**

**Hey, If you like my song fics check out Never Again on my profile!**

**Any suggestions tell me! I'll try to make the confrontion with Snape good. I don't plan on making this into an AU that is a Severitus, just a four-shot or wherever I stop. But if you want it, I could make it!**

**Thanks again for your wonderful reviews!**

**-HopeHealer**


	5. You Asked Why

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Only song.**

**Here it is! I promised you another chapter and here it is! I may end it here, but I might not. We'll see. **

**And sorry this isn't a full song. I only have part of what I've wrote. I might put it into the next chapter if I have one!**

Snape observed Harry Potter carefully, curious on what new revelations he would make today. The boy always seemed to surprise him.

He watched the boy grab his guitar quickly. Opening his mouth, Harry began to sing.

"**No matter how hard it may be to you,**

**you've never seen what I can do!**

**You've never realized that deep inside,**

**my lies are wrapped within my pride!**

**You asked why! **

**To know if what you heard was really true! **

**I've always lied! To myself and to you! **

**You asked why, and this time I won't lie!"**

Snape slowly edged closer, wanting to get a better look as Harry plucked his guitar, but he tripped suddenly, clattering loudly to the floor. He didn't have to see the boy to know how he froze, wondering what possibly happened.

"Professor," a voice gasped.

Snape looked up in dread, seeing the shocked and infuriated boy before him, and wished he could disappear on the spot. Instead, he quickly stood up, careful not to trip over his cloak again, and sighed. He tried to look reassuring, but he couldn't help the frown.

"How much did you hear?" he hissed, his eyes blazing.

Snape stared at the boy carefully, trying not to display emotions. "Enough," he admitted.

Harry glared at him, before a smooth mask replaced it. "So you _were_ there a couple nights ago," Harry said softly. He glanced at the teacher. "You probably thought it was quite amusing to see me this way," he added bitterly.

Snape shook his head. "Mr. Potter-" he began.

"Yes, everything I sung was true," Harry interrupted harshly. "Yes, I have been abused, No, I don't want to see the Headmaster. And yes, I wish I was someone else. Happy?" he snarled, his eyes sparking.

"I was only going to say that I'm sorry," Snape said after a few moments of silence.

Harry stared at Snape, a flicker of astonishment on his face.

"Are you feeling all right, sir?" he asked, after hesitating slightly.

"I feel perfectly fine," Snape said.

Harry laughed coldly. "You probably think it is funny to try to trick me like this. Pretend like someone actually cares about me."

"I used to love your mother," Snape whispered sadly, looking away. He didn't know why he said it, but he did.

"What?" Harry chocked. "But-But in the memory you called her a mud-"

"I know what I called her," Snape snapped. He cursed under his breath. "That's the reason it is my worst memory," he confessed.

Harry looked at the professor, his eyes narrowed. "Haven't you learned anything?" he growled. "I'm not going to believe more lies. Dumbledore set you up to this, didn't he?"

Snape sighed and shook his head quickly. "James was my cousin," Snape informed him quietly. "I never really hated him, but Sirius Black hated me because I was apart of Slytherin. Apart of the thing he had disowned. James always did what Black asked." Snape looked away. "The reason I have to hate you Harry, is because that is expected of me. I didn't want to be a Death Eater. I was forced. And of course your godfather made it worse for me." Snape turned to the shocked Harry.

"I know what your saying is true," Harry spoke slowly. "I don't know how or why, I just feel it."

Snape nodded, fighting back a smile.

"But why did you call her _that_?" Harry questioned suddenly.

"I made a mistake," Snape murmured, his eyes locked with Harry's emerald ones.

Harry nodded.

"But why do you act like someone else?" Snape said quickly, watching his face. "Why do you think you aren't good enough."

Harry's face hardened. "It's compliacted," he said curtly.

"But why?" Snape persisted.

"Maybe I'll sing you the song all the way through," Harry said smoothly. He sent the professer a smirk. "You only heard part of todays."

"What's it called?" Snape wondered.

"You asked why," Harry said, smirking wider.

Snape groaned. He had a lot coming to him later.

Harry suddenly yawned, but tried to cover it with his hand.

"I think you need to get to bed," Snape spoke gently.

Harry gaped at Snape. Was that _concern_?

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Harry," Snape told him.

Harry nodded uncertainly and spun around and walked slowly down the corridor. He barely had time to register the thought that Snape had called him Harry repeatingly, before he spoke again.

"And the real you is who I want to see," Snape told him lightly.

Harry gave him one more glance, before chuckling quietly. Tomorrow was going to be one heck of a day.

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	6. Open my eyes

**Hey here is the last chapter probably. I might make a sequel. Oh well, I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the song. Song is mine.**

**Well here it is! Sorry for the wait!**

Harry knew this would probably be his last night in this hallway. He looked around and was surprised that he couldn't see Snape. He expected to see Snape following him around now that he found out about Harry's secrets.

Harry shrugged. You never know with Severus Snape.

Harry grabbed his guitar and thought about why this would be his last night. It was time for him to move on and not be so depressed. He couldn't believe that just the other day he had been in this very hallway with no knowledge that anyone cared.

He remembered his talk with Severus earlier and smiled.

It had been early that morning. He had woken up from a nightmare and walked out by the lake. Somehow Snape had known he would be there and had sat down beside him.

"Nightmares?" Snape had asked.

"Yes, like every night," Harry had replied, bowing his head and twirled his wand in his hands.

"What are they about?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry had whispered.

"You can't stay hidden your whole life, Harry. You need to open up to me. It will help if you talk about them."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"That may be, Harry, but you need to talk about it. I used to get nightmares and I still do. It helps if you talk them through."

"Ok," Harry had given in, looking up to meet his eyes. "I was having dreams about the third task as I watched Cedric die," he whispered, his eyes lifeless. "How if I wouldn't have been so dang noble he could be eating breakfast right now and laughing with his friends."

"That's not true, Harry," Snape had said fiercely. "You didn't know what would happen when you touched that cup."

Harry shook his head. "I know," he had muttered, "but it's just hard to watch him die over and over and be so helpless."

"I know, Harry, but I will teach you occlumency and help you clear your mind."

Harry looked at him, puzzled. "Why are you being so nice to me again?"

"Your mother was my best friend and helped me through all my depression," Snape had said softly. "My parents fought, my monster of a father abused me, and he expected me to be the perfect Slytherin and a Death Eater. I knew it wasn't my fault for what he did." (A/N: in my story Snape is a pure-blood.)

"I know the abuse isn't my fault," Harry said quickly, catching his eye, not knowing quite what to say but knew what Snape was hinting at.

"Then why have you not gone to a teacher and why are you so quick to claim that you don't blame yourself?" He had looked at Harry sadly. "I'm no fool, Harry."

"I didn't trust anyone enough," Harry had lied. "And I just wanted you to know that I don't blame myself."

"You trust Dumbledore and Molly Weasley and McGonagall and Sirius and Remus and your friends. You may not admit it, but you trusted them even though you felt used."

Harry had bitten his lip, not knowing what to say.

"I know you think you deserve what horrible things happened to you in your life, but I for one know you don't." With that Snape had gotten up and had said, "think about it Harry. I'll see you later in class." He had turned away, his robes billowing, and had left Harry to his thoughts.

All through classes Harry had actually tried and shown what he could do. He worked hard on his homework and impressed and confused his teachers. The only one who showed he wasn't surprised was Severus, who was indeed very shocked to see Harry Potter brewing a perfect potion and handing in a perfect paper.

"Stay after class, Mr. Potter," Snape had ordered.

Harry had waited, looking at Snape curiously.

"You can do this," Snape had said, placing his paper onto the desk so he could see it. There was a large O on the top. "I haven't seen such description in even Ms. Granger's work. And that's just potions. From what I've heard it isn't near as good as Transfiguration, Charms, and especially Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Harry had shrugged. "I decided to stop hiding my powers and true potential."

Snape had just shook his head, before walking away. "Get to class, Mr. Potter."

Harry came out of his thoughts with a shake of his head, thinking how Severus Snape would never cease to amaze him, and picked up his guitar. He began the song and sung softly:

**I never thought that someone was there, because I didn't want to open my eyes. I forgot that there can be love, and sometimes to find truth you need lies. You were always watching me, and I never knew. But now I finally see. I can be true.**

**Cause I now realize the truth in the lies. I can see the light. I can look beyond the skies. I have opened my eyes. I will not hide. Cause it is time for me to be who I am on the inside.**

**I have fallen far, into the deep, but I can now survive. I wasn't able to breath, but now I'm alive, I thought I had died, but I've finally opened my eyes, to look beyond the lies. I can see through the clouds and fly.**

**Cause I now realize the truth in the lies. I can see the light. I can look beyond the skies. I have opened my eyes. I will not hide. Cause it is time for me to be who I am on the inside.**

**I'm so tired of being untrue, because that's what you think I should be. It's time for me to be me, and you soon will also open your eyes to the truth.**

**Cause I now realize the truth in the lies. I can see the light. I can look beyond the skies. I have opened my eyes. I will not hide. Cause it is time for me to be who I am on the inside.**

**I am so used to pain, I am so used to hate. I thought my fury was unable to tame, I thought it was too late. But I've finally figured out, what I was meant to do, and I don't care about all of you.**

**Cause it's time I tell you a secret, one I've been trying to hide. That I was never or never will be apart of your lies. You've always been blind, and you need to see, to open your eyes.**

**Cause I now realize the truth in the lies. I can see the light. I can look beyond the skies. I have opened my eyes. I will not hide. Cause it is time for me to be who I am on the inside.**

**Ohhh…….**

**Cause I now realize the truth in the lies. I can see the light. I can look beyond the skies. I have opened my eyes. I will not hide. Cause it is time for me to be who I am on the inside.**

**So you need to open your eyes, because I'm not who you want to see. I'm tired of these lies, cause now I'm who I want to be. So now I will be who I want to see. I will be myself, and no one else. Cause I will be me, who I want to see.**

Harry finished his song with a smile and nodded to the potions master who had been watching, with his back rested against the wall.

"I'm proud of you, Harry," he said softly.

Harry smiled and turned to look out the window. For the first time Harry felt accepted and he realized who he wanted to see was his true self all along.

**THE END!**

**Or is it???????????**

**I might have a sequel with Harry becoming adopted and them messing with Umbridge and occlumency and killing Voldywarts. **

**Thanks to all you reviews and to SeverusAddicted who got me to write this chapter.**

**Sorry it took so long. Please review.** **Cause it makes me sooooo happy!**


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